Wednesday, 4 November 2015


Mermaid tail

Admittedly the price won't make you feel great - but once you have recovered, you will BE a mermaid. This is a proper, genuine mermaid tail moulded to your lower regions, water-resistant all the way to the bottom of the ocean, subtly coloured to camouflage you among the coral, and designed to attract the entire cast of Finding Nemo, including Bruce the Vegetarian Shark. Your swimming speed will be astonishing; your body length will rival that of Peter Crouch; people will gasp when they see you; and there's no need to wax your, what do you call them, legs.
From £1,600 at

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